I've been making some progress in the past few months for whatever it's worth. I'm trying to make steps to finding work and am putting my all in making progress in my life which is something I couldn't say before. I guess some things are looking up. When I first came home from college things were pretty good between my parents and I, even though I was doing extremely badly and was self harming and having suicidal thoughts. At least now I'm not anywhere near that bad, but I'm definitely not really better either. I'm still having a lot of difficulties. I sometimes will frequently say really negative pessimistic things like, "It's all just hopeless" or "What's the point of anything, I'm no good, I'm just a piece of trash" and it's often pretty hard to bring me around. Sometimes, I have just gone on for a lot of the day just talking about how screwed up of a person I am, how I'm just trash, etc. For instance, today I was talking with my Mom about having her help me with something for a job I am trying to get but when I struggled with it, she talked to me to try to bring me around but after a while I just said, "It's just hopeless. There's no point in anything. I'm just garbage." My Mom is away on a trip and she's saying that she feels that she is completely ineffective in bringing me back up, which is somewhat true, and that she can't deal with all the negativity. They say that I start out with something neutral or positive then "ambush" them with something like, "I'm no good." or another meaningless, negative comment which is true but it isn't meant as an attack. She is thinking about not coming home at all that she is there for me but just can't take it anymore. I talked to her on the phone for probably two hours today though, so it isn't like she isn't wanting to speak to me again. They are also saying that if it's too difficult for them to live with me, that they are selling the house and giving me a good bit of the money so I can support myself while I am getting myself together mentally.