I'm not sure I fully 'get' all of it but know that when I was in a bad place in my life I attracted and was attracted to a person who did not care for me and treated me very badly.

Fortunately for me it was a short term thing and many years ago, but looking back I do feel I learned from it - at the time I felt the bad treatment from this person 'fitted' me, it was all I deserved. Playing out wounds? Quite possibly, although I never thought of it that way at the time.

Having said that I met my current long term partner very shortly after, my self-esteem although improved was still not great (still isn't), but he is the best thing that ever happened to me. Perhaps I was lucky.