I am so sorry, growly. I wish there was something I could do to make it better. A while back I was in termination mode with my T (who is not a CBT T), and he was exceptionally unhelpful at a time where I REALLY REALLY needed help. And a lot of it was his really refusing to take responsibility for things that were putting a strain on the relationship. It made me feel helpless and crazy. Which is always a super-safe and fun combination [/sarcasm].

I've never seen a CBT T, but at times a cognitive-behavioral approach has helped me deal with certain things, like phobias. It has merit, for sure. However, part of the reason I've never sought out a CBT T for dealing with my overall mood and thoughts is that pushing myself to make progress and coming up with goals and trying to alter my behavior is something I am doing to myself all the time. Sometimes too much. CBT might push me over the edge. I say this because when you say, "If I could do that then I wouldn't bother with therapy!", that really nucleates *for me* when I feel like a CB approach ends and a more psychodynamic/analytic approach begins.

Still, I think maybe it's better to keep that connection open, while you're figuring out your next step. My biggest regret during my termination phase a couple years ago was closing that door before I had another one open. Even though T was hurting me at that time, being on my own ended up hurting me more.

Good luck. And let me just say that yes, it's ok to be dependent sometimes. So many of us grew up thinking that being dependent was our biggest personal flaw... but it's not. There is such a thing as being so dependent that it's a detriment to oneself and others, but when you're struggling, it's ok to lean on someone. Humans were meant to live in groups. We're wired to look to others when we're in trouble. It's just that for many of us, the people in our early lives tried to re-wire us, because of their own issues. But there's really nothing wrong with you for needing help. I hope you continue to post here about your struggle. I often can't respond but I am thinking of you .