Well it was bound to happen. My on again/off again gf since 05 (and only one I've been with during that time) told me she can't move 4 hours away with me when I go to complete my degree. Apparently she needs to be close to her family which she hardly sees(but is constantly on the phone with).* I told her, "hey, you can be on the moon and call them.* This is a few hours away.

We were supposed to get married which would've been great since... since I wouldn't be alone.* I hate being alone.* Still, I have known for a while the relationship wasn't right.

This is the second time she did this.* To think I moved down here for her and she can't move 4 hours away for us to have a better life.* I was going to school for us, so I could get a better job for us.* To take care of her.* To have someone be a companion to me.

I exhibit serious lack of social skills when it comes to women and the (relatively) few girlfriends I've had were mostly because of luck.* I'm almost 40 now, no degree, can't find a job in this 1 horse town. Not just women, I have no close friends... socializing friends. I do have self confidence (in general).* I'm active at church and in the community.

The truth is I love her, I don't want her to be hurt, I only want the best for her but then I think of ex-girlfriends and God. I would love to be with them again.* They're everything she isn't but she is one thing they aren't. That thing is she's here.

I don't want someone who thinks my intellect is out of their league. I want someone with their own original thoughts. Someone who does their own research rather than relying on me.

I hope I am not coming off as conceited.* That isn't my intent.* I am not superficial. In fact some of the women I find attractive have made others question my sanity. To be fair, I'm not exactly Mr Photogenic.* I think there's one picture out there I like.* Don't come from photogenic people either (I know, sounds horrible). My job history is horrible from a life of self-medicating.* I have aspie tendencies... when I meet someone my conversation stays on a surface level, yet I'm not shy.* I literally have no clue how to get to know someone well enough to see if they want to socialize... do I just hit them with a club and drag them home?

I do have assets.* I have a gpa* between 3.7-4 depending on how this semester goes. I have a good chance of entering one of the top accounting schools in the nation.*** Been told I'm funny.* Have a lot of life experience.*Still, don't see myself finding someone else until someone else finds me.