I have both and it's been very difficult. My mom died almost a year ago and I developed MET with my T. who I had seen off and on for 5 years. It literally happened around the week my mom died - like my brain substituted my T. for my mom but without my permission!

I have had negative and positive transference towards her and she's not much older than me which makes it more awkward. I have been mean to her, convinced she's mad at me, wanting her to love me, etc. It has been the most painful yet amazing experience I have ever had. I admitted I had strong feelings for her about a month after telling her I didn't want to need her ( I hated the word need). I knew it was transference as I had already researched it. We didn't really talk about the attachment but I once said attachment sucks. She didn't want to discuss the whole process of transference with me because I am one to focus on the process instead of my feelings.

My biggest regret is I didn't tell her all of my feelings when they were actually happening because I was worried they were wrong. So, I suffered alone for several months instead of asking her to help me. I wouldn't ask for more sessions and pushed everyone away. The more I talk the easier I get. She's also not one to reassure me and I wanted her to tell me it was ok to feel this way. sometimes she will and most of the time she won't because she feels I should be ok having my feelings and not want someone to tell me it's ok to feel a certain way.

I told her early on that I didn't want to be close to her. And, I'll want to be close and then a month later start pushing her away. I finally figured out that I was afraid she would hurt or abandon me. And, unfortunately, I still fear she'll hurt me. I've realized I don't really trust her but haven't been able to figure out why as I did before the transference started. Part of it is I never trusted my mom. But, I also read that not trusting someone is a protective mechanism to avoid getting hurt. So, I guess a way to keep her at a distance.