I truely understand how you are feeling. I could easily have been in your position.

My first concern for you is his refusal to even consider marrying you until you changed to fit his image of what he wanted his wife to be. You should be able to be whoever you want and he either accepts you or he does not. What happens if you do get married and 20 years from now he decides you need to change again? Maybe he needs to change a bit.

I'm also sorry to say it but he is making excuses. Many, many people get married without any money in the bank. Many of them do not even make enough to live comfortably but they have good marriages. People don't understand that you do not start you married life off with everything your parents had. It took years for them to be able to afford many things. Part of being married is making it through the tough times and working toward the good ones.

I suggest you do some serious thinking and be sure you are willing to give up all he is expecting you to release. Is being with him worth changing your personality, living by his rules and time table even though you do not know what it is and possibly giving up your career to move where he is and start all over again? It is a hard decision to make. I wish you luck.