thanks you guys....
and I'm now with a good counselor who can "see" us behind my mask... haven't had that in over a year (with Colleen). Day two, and she was like "What did they just say? That didn't go over well, did it?" @_@ yike. later: "Oh there's a lot of anger there...."
oh man. No more 'hiding in plain sight' for us.

Tho with pnurse, now some feel like they can't tell her things.... which means I will have to be even more vigilant in our day to day lives. (as well as with p.nurse's very good prying questions.... ugh. See her again in two weeks - 22 is ready to sew up my mouth if need be.... They're also thinking of just taking off - driving along the coast for a month or something. HELLO! I WORK, PEOPLE! omg.