So, I'm fairly new here and have tried posting this twice already...this will be may last try and then I'll assume the universe doesn't want it posted!

There are so many things I'd like to respond to, but I think my main message is, I am not a "rah rah" cheerleader" type of person, I hate groups and I am not terribly fond of therapy...that said, I can say unequivocally that DBT has saved my life. It's taught me skills that I wished I had had the opportunity to learn as a child. It has also given me the ability to ground myself and regulate my emotions so that I am able to do my trauma work.

There seems to be this misconception that DBT is all about distress tolerance. Distress tolerance is only one skill (and there are many different pieces or things to try within that skill) and it's not meant to be a way to end distress nor is it meant to be used constantly. It is a tool to use when one is in the "red zone" in order not to make things worse. And if self-soothing doesn't work, there are other ones to try. Once you're out of the "red zone", then you look at different skills to use in order to reach your goal.

Breadfish wrote "I refuse to try DBT because in my opinion it's too much about learning to live with the pain and not enough about the pain going away, which is my ultimate goal." (sorry , don't know how to use the quote feature). That's simply not true. In any situation, you have one of five choices: 1) solve the problem (change the situation) 2) feel better about the problem (change or regulate your emotional response) 3) tolerate the problem 4) stay unhappy or 5) make it worse. Once you decide on your goal, DBT provides the tools to achieve it.

I feel very sad when I read about people's negative experiences with DBT (and I have had a couple), but I think it's about the therapist and/or facilitators not being skillful rather than DBT itself (or the client).

And I agree that some of the "aversion" tactics used by some therapists are shaming and infantilizing - but, again, I believe that it's the therapist, not DBT.

And, finally, I agree that not all therapy modalities fit everyone. I am not borderline and I fought forever not to go to DBT. What I found was a set of tools that have benefitted me far more than I would have ever imagine (and there are some in there that don't resonate with me, so I don't use them).

Just my personal thoughts...and I still make "Marsha Marsha Marsha" jokes during group.