I am sorry for the unexpected death of your friend. It is hard to bear such sorrow alone. Do you have a therapist that you can turn to to help work through this grief?

Therapists share ways they help clients deal with grief.
psychcentral.com/lib/therapists-spill-14-ways-to-get.../00017027

There are lots of compassionate people here that can make the load lighter by sharing and caring.

Many people find compassionate, caring people here at PC. Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.