T is so nice. I'm not really sure why... I "concerned" her though. I don't mean to... at the moment is more based on history, well ok, that and the sh I was telling her about but... :/
we covered the hw she had given me on Tuesday. She said she gets why it was overwhelming. I guess it "should" be, but I so judge myself very harshly on my inability to handle it. People have gone through a lot worse...
I promised to refrain from sh till I see her again. Hoping I can manage. She wants me to call someone before I do anything, and i don't like bugging crisis lines about that, so... just have to not do it. o_O
why does this get so hard sometimes? I thought the longer you managed recovery, the harder relapse was... it's certainly not the case here. I feel like I fall back into it at the slightest push.
All of this just sucks...