I told my T that I wish I could be like people I've known who have friends with benefits. She says that's actually pathological. I know it is; I've actually tried it (it's amazing how guys pay attention to you when it's clear you only want sex). I did it right after I broke off my engagement in 2004-5. It's amazing I didn't end up pregnant/sick/hurt. But it was pretty pathological. I was an evangelical who had believed in waiting for my husband until my ex and I decided to sleep together. I waited until I was 26 (yep, you read that correctly). Looking back, it wasn't that hard; I don't think anyone else wanted to sleep with me, lol. But after I broke it off with him (it was ending anyway) I thought, why did I wait? It so wasn't worth it to me. So I made up for lost time. And honestly, it never seemed worth it. I mean, don't get me wrong, I have a decent sex drive. But it's not something I can't live without. So it's not that hard to turn that part of me off. The love part, however, is more difficult. Feeling like you're one of the only people in the world that no one loves, that cannot attract someone you want is really, really difficult.