It sounds a lot like a dissociative coping response to me. Not unlike some of the responses you were having during the attack. I could be wrong. But it really does sound to me like you are sort of numbing out to be able to deal now.
I do hope you will be able to get a good counselor and sort things out!!! Good luck! (((((safe hugs)))) <-- if you want them
Angela
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Soon I'll grow up and I won't even flinch at your name
~Alanis Morissette
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