I am so sorry you feel that way. Dying is hard work. It isn't simple. The planning, the execution, what if it doesn't work? You will have the hard task of recovery. If you do succeed, you will put someone or other on a position where they must figure stuff out. I'm sorry it feels hard and undesirable to live. Nothing external will make you want to live. Bad situations are recurring all through life. The point is that, that's not all, that's not all life needs to be. Please hold on and actually allow yourself to work towards something.