Thinking about crying almost made me cry today. What it does is so powerful, it can literally bring me down to my knees and cripple me. I need constant checking on where my thoughts lead me to, and redirect. Whenever I come out of my crying, it seems a new chapter's always waiting for me, this may mean that simply I'm back at this ****** life again, a slightly changed man. No matter. I had the equal or more strength to withstand the waves while every emotions imaginable had been thrown at me.

It is sad and unhealthy when someone cries because he/she is doubting their self worth. Arn't I enough? Isn't it enough? If no one can say that you are, you have to lie, cheat do whatever to get out of there. I've gone through this period long ago, and I think I let go most of it by now. Then why do I still cry? The exact same person lives through me, maybe that is why.

Why someone's tears not enough to stop wars and world conflicts instead of annihilation of life? This is one of the thoughts that made me weepy today. I know it sounds so naive but only if more people pay attention to that part, people crying..

Crying itself doesn't seems to be doing anything for me though. And the focus always seems to be on what the person does after. Isn't it dramatic enough? Why is it like taboo, people mock you, see you weak when you're crying? After going through the process of crying and you find a smile. It's just a beautiful thing to me, and I cherish that.

Anyhow, I had enough weepy moments for one day.

(BTW, I should probably tell you all that I'm out of depression at the moment, and I'm conducting my own experiment where I'm trying to ..think to stay out of deep abyss as long as possible. Nice to meet y'all depression forum peeps and thanks for sharing)