Hi canuck. Dissociation is a mystery to me. I have had some discussions with people that have it, and I can see some of the elements of it in me, but I have a fairly reliable observer that keeps tabs on everyone in my head so I usually know what is transpiring.
But it must be so frustrating if something is happening that you are not aware of.

I find practicing mindfulness helps me be more aware of all the parts.
psychcentral.com/blog/.../new-to-mindfulness-how-to-get-started/

Many people find compassionate, caring people here at PC. Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.