i bet you feel all alone right now if there is nobody to understand you with this new diagnosis. i hope that you have a therapist to help you cope. we have a large bpd community here at PC that can answer any questions you may have. there is a good book that may help your husband if he is willing to read it. it is by a guy named mason called stop walking on eggshells. it can be found relatively cheap on amazon. there is also a great therapy called dbt. if there isnt a group near you, you can find workbooks on amazon as well. hang in there.