So I wasn't sure which forum to chose. I don't believe that I was sexually abused as a child even though I do have some strange vague sexual memories as a child. The issue I am having, is that when I am fantasizing during self pleasure, my mind tends to picture me having sex with myself as a child. and usually I switch between which perspective I am seeing it from, and it's usually a forcible situation. Or like I am being that innocent child. Once in a while, although I force it out of my head, my father enters the fantasy. This has all been so disturbing for me and it makes me not want to pleasure myself anymore. If you have any thoughts without calling me a sicko, I would appreciate them. Thank you.