Yismymindblank12,

While I can certainly relate to your anger and feelings of disgust - I too was physically, emotionally, and sexually abused as a child and as an adult. I have spent well over a decade in therapy and under treatment by a psychiatrist including medications. It has taken a lot of trial and error to find what works, and it's not easy by any means, but as miserable as I was for decades, I can now say that while I still have some really bad days, I am so much better now and am in a relationship with someone who treats me with dignity and respect.

It's a long, hard road, and back in the day I tried many times to kill myself and felt like I was so stupid I couldn't even do that right either!

My biggest regret of all is that I wish I had started treatment when I was your age instead of waiting until I was 40 and my whole life fell down around my ears.

I wish you all the best in your recovery. Believe me, man, if I can get through it, so can you. As long as you keep trying, you'll get there.

WW