I am sorry that you are suffering so much.
Even as a baptized christian I sometimes get angry at God for all the pain in the world. But, being angry is okay, God understands.

I sincerely believe that God loves you very much and always will.

I will be thinking of you, and if it's okay, pray that you will find some relief and peace.

Please excuse me if I am too preachy; it's because my faith helps me through the dark times because even though I don't understand why I suffer or why other people do, I believe God loves me and one day I will have the answers why.