I get what everyone is saying here. I've been there too, and I'm back there now. I'll try my best to explain what I've figured out about me without sounding like a goof, but it may not apply to anyone else.

Emotional pain to me is exactly like physical pain. I've adjusted to my migraines such that I can usually go about my day with them and sometimes not even notice them, but I still need to take my med as soon as possible. The same is true for my emotional pain- I can function most of the time, but I still need to get to the root of the what and why to start feeling better.

What I've done with my migraines and my emotional pain is to feel it, experience it at its worst, to kind of revel in it so I am familiar with how it feels. This sounds weird and even stupid, but it helps me to figure out exactly what I am feeling, i.e., is it anger, guilt, shame, regret, what is the exact problem? Feelings to me are tricky- sometimes anger is not really anger, but simply how the real feeling manifests itself. After I identify the feeling, then I get to the why. Why, exactly, do I feel this way? What was it about that encounter with whoever, or that memory, that brought these feelings to the surface?

I read a blog here on psych central of someone who did this to help him figure out why he craved junk food. His name is Mike Bundrant, and his post helped me to see how I use a similar process for other emotional areas.

After doing this for many years, I can usually pinpoint the core problem fairly quickly. I've also found that as I'm going about my daily activities, thoughts jump in that reveal the core issue for past and present problems, like my subconscious is working on its own. Like I said, this may not apply to everyone, especially since it does take a lot of time and honest self-introspection. I also journal, and have my whole life. Even after solving my emotional puzzles, I agree that pain still hurts, but having someone to talk to really helps.