I didn't... just really, really wanted to. Promised T I would do my best not to cut till I saw her again (which is only Tuesday)... so, yeah... still trying. It's still really hard.

the thought that had helped last night was that I will never get past this point if I don't respond to the overwhelm differently. This is always where I get stuck, and the focus of therapy shifts to crisis intervention rather than processing. I need to get through the processing piece.

I also don't like being in a space that worries my T. I don't want to be that client that has her holding her breath hoping I show up to the next session.

but it's SO hard right now... I can't get the flashbacks to stop or slow...