Counsellors are trained not to show their prejudices and help you work things through. You will condemn yourself more than a good counsellor which does not mean they won't challenge you as you clearly don't think what you did is right and that will cause you pain. If you are serious about addressing the issue which is causing you distress (and has the potential to distress your wife too) then taking your courage in both hands to talk to someone may be what you need to do. Only you know deep inside. Best wishes,