Quote:
Originally Posted by Walking Man
. You're right I need to be more positive. I didn't give up on myself, but my hopes became outrageously unrealistic. For example: Long story, but after seminary, I applied to Oxford, St. Andrews, York, and Durham. I got into Durham! However I didn't get funding, so it was impossible to go, I even deferred a year in hopes of getting something. This year I majorly compromised by going to vocational school. I did great my first semester, but my back gave out and I had to drop out. I kept thinking that in spite of my challenges I could succeed at my ambitions if I kept trying, but after 10+ years it's not happening. I still have things I want to work on, but my body is a serious limitation. I've pummeled it into the ground more than once. I don't have any choice but to keep trying. I can hope, but just supporting myself would be a major accomplishment.
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Just out of curiosity.... I hear that you have limitations, but not completely. I know you want to further your education but have you thought of an online education? There are may options to you. I studied and received Master certification studying online with Cornell University. Mind you that cost a pretty penny and you need to have the will power to make it to all lectures on a timely schedule, but there are many options out there for free education. There is a site called EdX that offers free online courses from IVY LEAGUE universities that do offer certification in some subjects. If you are limited maybe educating yourself this way will help open some other doors? There is also another site called COURSERA. Education should never be a struggle. I dont know how much this information will help, but maybe it will give you the push you need to keep your mind at ease and the "foot in the door" that you are looking for to keep your mind busy and self confidence up
I have no doubt once you feel good about yourself the way you look at life will change. Once that happens, you will feel more free to opening yourself up to look for the affection that you so desire. Best of luck to you friends. Big hugs!