Thank you, OpenEyes. (((hugs back))) I appreciate the response. At this point, I'm truly not sure I can get myself to go tomorrow. It's all I can do anymore to pull myself up every night to go to work, and I know what to expect there for the most part. This is a whole different animal for me. Taking the bus there while likely on the edge of panic the whole time, that's whole other issue. My husband is not supportive with this in the least, says it's "stupid" so that's not helping either. I have no friends locally, no family left living. Whatever I can get myself to do, I'm doing it on my own. I've dealt on my own with this for 2 years now, and now it's affecting my work (people have told me they don't know anymore if I'm mad or sad as they said it, and boss was waving her hand in my face, telling me to wake up when I spaced out), which is why I went for help. I'm afraid I'll lose my job at this point. However, I'm thinking maybe that would be better than dealing with going to these appointments right now. It worked at first to tell myself that I have nothing to lose in trying, which is true, but telling myself that isn't even working now. I'm not sure this degree of panic over going is worth it.