Your husband is spending too much time around his father. That's who he feels safe with, for understandable reasons, now that we consider his history. But enough with the fishing already. Being with Dad is his way of isolating, which you are going to have to fight. This is an example of what you can have way more influence on than a therapist will. Start making plans for you two to have more of a social life with other young couples. He's going to fight this tooth and nail because he doesn't think that other people like him much . . . and he's right. Thry don't . . . because he's not that likable. He's lucky he's got you.

Growth in a healthy direction will come only through doing more healthy, normal things. Drag, push, plead, bully, cajole. A lot of being a good wife is practicing the art of effective nagging. Go to a vinyard and taste some wines. Forget movies. That's too passive. Go to one of those animal farms that let you pet the goats. Zoos are good. Start having people over and tell him that he must help host. Accept invitations to any and all social events. Talk to some of your gal pals about getting together.

He's gonna be a mule on this issue, but do not give up. Summer's coming. Let him be the grill man. Have people over. He'll build confidence, but it will be a slow process.

Ask yourself what in your area would appeal to a visiting tourist. Then do those things with him. Explain to your mom what you are trying to do and why . . . that he's depressed and isolating and you need to get him out with people who will show him some warmth. Sounds like your family would be the ideal people. Explain to your folks that he needs to feel embraced, even when he doesn't present as all that embraceable. He needs to learn a different way of being. For that he needs to be away from the parents who conditioned him to be as he is.

The most important things he needs to learn can't be explained to him; they have to be experienced. This is where marriage can remake a person. Yes, his mother neglected him. He can sit around pondering that and just end up more depressed. For him, thinking is a way of getting deeper into his rut. You must be the one to interrupt the thinking with "Come on, let's go . . . we have things to do, memories to make." Once in awhile, go fishing with him.

With all you already have to do, scheduling activities with him will be a challenge. But you seem to have a gift for time management. He needs your help now.