Growlycat, I'm sorry to hear you been in crisis mode. I have not read your previous posts on the subject, so excuse me if this question is not relevant, but how is your CBT T's frustration with your work relates to you being safe in face of suicidal thoughts and ideation? Like what was this MD trying to get at? I'm not asking this in rhetorical way, I'm having trouble connecting the dots, not knowing your history.