Do we have the same father????? Mine offered me a $5 bill to pay for college. He has no job, never saved money, spends it as soon as it comes in, doesn't even own a car that runs at this point... I look at him and see a really good reason not to smoke pot for 40 years.

My father has been living with a GF for years in a house neither of them own that's now in foreclosure. Last week I heard that he was moving in with my only brother that's still on speaking terms with him. My brother (who really can't afford a non paying roommate) says it's not true, but... I don't know. I can see my brother letting him in and not wanting to tell anyone else.

I couldn't let my father stay with me. He's horrible to live with on top of being incredibly irresponsible. I might give him a ride to a shelter, but I am not sure if the third sibling would even do that.

I do kind of remember your thread. I also can see how the money was really to help your sister and I am glad that you are both probably going to turn off that tap. I think people who live their lives that way don't even really notice who is paying their bills. If one person won't, someone else will... or someone else won't and it won't really matter.

I have some unorthodox thoughts/skepticism about the medical industry in general, so it's hard for me to be objective about therapists. It sounds like you are concerned that a) it might not be helpful and b) it's expensive.

Have you brought these concerns (helpfulness + expense) up directly with him? I think it would be a great idea to talk about what success looks like and how you could measure it. How *can* you tell if it's working? This has to be something therapists receive training on, right? They have to know whether or not their treatments are effective so they can tweak them or change course.

Have you heard of 'S.M.A.R.T' goals? It's a business management thing, but I actually think it's pretty good. Copying from Wikipedia...

Specific – target a specific area for improvement.
Measurable – quantify or at least suggest an indicator of progress.
Assignable – specify who will do it.
Realistic – state what results can realistically be achieved, given available resources.
Time-related – specify when the result(s) can be achieved.

I guess it can't apply to everything, but if you are paying for a service, it makes sense to me that you should have a way of telling whether or not you are getting what you paid for. It's really hard if you are working through stuff that could take years to process, but are you getting a toolbox that will help you? Has he told you how many sessions he thinks you will need?

I'm still not sure about the pottery class. The past few weeks, it's felt sort of like a burden. I need more days with nothing scheduled. The class is only three hours and it's fun, but it's still scheduled so I find it stressful. I am pretty sure that doesn't really make sense, but... it seems to be the way my mind works.

I also have a lot of hobbies that involve being outside at this time of year. This class ties me down to my town for the day - no grand hiking or kayaking adventures. It may be that I am better off taking an evening class on a work day, now that I think about it... but then my day will be so long!

I did hear about that study and it *was* about pottery! They set one group making a single perfect pot and one group making as many as they could. The group that focused on quantity vs. quality improved more quickly. I have gone into the studio and set up ten pots that I later destroyed (you can reuse the clay if you don't fire it!), but I am not seeing much improvement... or, maybe I am, actually, but it's sooooo slowwwwwwww.

I had a pretty stressful weekend (fight with BF, intensive first aid training). Plus, I had to do some work. This is just SO not the situation I wanted to be in. I am not sure how to disengage from it now. There's always some reason not to at this very moment, if that makes sense? Not checking email really helps...