My daughter (20 years old) was confronted with this same issue. She and her girlfriend (same sex relationship) fight all the time and she was getting tired of it. They were living together and my daughter told her that she wanted to move home. The girl took a bunch of pills and was hospitalized. They pumped her stomach and she came out of it fine. My daughter felt awful and stayed with her. The following weekend the girl beat my daughter up after a argument. I moved my daughter home immediately, she had no say in the matter. They lived separately for a few months, but still continued to date. My daughter felt she needed to stay with her due to her trying to commit suicide. I did my best to give her advice on this, but in the end she made the decision to stay with her and they are now living together again. I am afraid for my daughter's safety and wish she'd realize that the relationship is toxic. I think with time she will realize this is not the type of long term relationship she wants or can see herself in for the rest of her life. But only time will tell. She calls me complaining and occasionally will come over for the day to get away from her girl friend, but they continue on.

The girl is seeing a therapist and they don't fight as much. I think your advice is correct in him trying to get her professional help. It has to be his decision to stay or leave. All you can really do is support him and let him know that you are there if he needs you. Maybe gently remind him that he should take a look at what he really wants in a relationship long term and have him picture whether or not this includes her. Maybe for the near future it does, maybe 5 years from now it won't.

A cop friend told me that it takes a person on average 5-7 times to experience something horrific (being beat up, threats of suicide, emotional abuse) before they make the decision to leave the person. And even after leaving, it takes time before they will permanently remove them from their lives. I find this very sad, but most likely true.

Good luck.