no, actually I don't. I have fearful avoidant. I'm constantly wanting to push her away so she doesn't hurt me. And, I just realized I don't fully trust her. I can't pinpoint why except for one rupture last summer. I recently read that it's a decision to fully trust and not trusting someone can be a protective mechanism. I didn't think of it that way. But, when I think of fully trusting her, I get the same feeling as when I think about letting myself grieve my mom - I think it's fear. I've told her I want to completely trust her and not feel so insecure with our relationship. I'm just not there yet.

The longings are definitely not as painful as 6 months ago but they are there.....