Thanks again for the response.

"Money is rarely just about money -- it can be about power over the other person, identity, self-esteem, etc."

Yes I can see what you mean. He is controlling. A few nights ago he made the statement that if my new career does not sustain me within the next few months, I should look for a permanent other kind of job so that I can help with the finances. I am not sure what to make of that. In the past I have supported him with most of his dreams. At one time he also started a business and struggled and eventually gave his share to a partner. This partner subsequently built the business to the point of selling it for a few million.

I did go for counselling but need to find someone else as she was too 'timid' in her responses. I need to hear the hard facts so that I can deal with it and get on with my life. I need to understand my husband's motivation for saying the things he does. I need to understand if it is because of old history or new history. It is difficult to communicate with him, he gets defensive, angry/aggressive or withdraws. We have had some major arguments in the past, some abusive.

I am seeing a new counselor as from October. Am not in a good place at the moment. Feeling depressed, which is VERY unlike me, de-motivated about my job, which is also very strange, worried about my child, which is normal I guess and got the flue on top of it all. I sure sound sorry for myself!

Thanks for listening.