View Single Post
 
Old Apr 20, 2015, 11:56 AM
Open Eyes's Avatar
Open Eyes Open Eyes is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,288
Quote:
Originally Posted by connect.the.stars View Post
To add onto what OE said above, here is a link to a three minute video that I think does a great job describing how damaging it is when boys are told to "man up" or "be a man."

The 3 Most Damaging Words You Can Tell Your Son | SF Globe
Personally, given what Seeyalater has recently shared about how his parents respond to him, I would make it a point to email this link to at least his father, his mother too if I had her email. Even find a third party (one I could trust obviously) to email it.

It's unfortunate that so many parents are just obtuse. Sometimes, they "can" be enlightened, sometimes.

I had a nice young man helping me part time during his months off from college. I got to know him enough to tell he was a very sensitive young man, slow and methodical thinker. He was struggling with his parents a lot. Then I actually got to meet his parents and sat and talked with them. His father is the type of man that is "hurry up quick" and has ADHD too. His mother is "passive/agressive", but did not realize it. I talked to them about their personality types and how the son is more passive and how the father has to understand this instead of just pouncing on him all the time, and yes making these kind of statements as well.

I heard later that his father kept pushing too hard, this young man ended up having a blow up with his mother. Oh, yes, it had been slowly growing inside him. I got to see his parents again and I explained to his mother "why" he blew up at her. I explained to her that often it actually "is" the passive parent that gets all the built up anger directed towards them, because the child/son deep down inside feels this parent should have stood up for him and supported/defended him more.

Believe it or not, "some" parents actually "can" be receptive if approached the right way.
Hugs from:
Seeyalater
Thanks for this!
connect.the.stars, Seeyalater