Hi Kenna, sweety, read your story and I'm sorry you had to go through all that. Congrats on the clean time of 6 months. So much trauma in a life makes it so hard to beat.

I myself don't much care for religion, too many rules and "shalt nots", but I found great inspiration, freedom, peace, and relief through spiritualism. Not the occult version, but a belief in a power greater than me that is large and in charge. To get in touch with this higher power, may I siggest a 12 step meeting, like AA since you do/did abuse alcohol?

It's not getting drafted into a belief but finding the higher power that works for you, that is, gives you peace and real. It works for it has worked for me, but I married an alcoholic and that was my undoing, but that's another story because it was all me.

Hope that it works wonders for you because I had great peace in it. Luv!