So since being released from the hospital,
(Backsory: If you look in the PTSD forum and scroll down to the thread "I need help...I almost ended it" you will get more perspective on this post), I've had to meet with an outpatient therapist/psychiatrist, I dunno. Next week I have to meet with another for some other reason.
I hate this. I hate having to talk about it over and over and over. The session was an hour and a half and by the end I was so exhausted I immediatley went to bed and was out for about 5 hours.
Side note: I was never able to sleep like this. I developed a sleeping pattern that would last only two to three hours, I would check my surroundings and then take about 45 minutes to fall back asleep. Minipress is the only thing that has helped me sleep through the night.
But I digress...I have been so depressed all day since the session. I've been on this apology campaign with all my friends for putting them through my suicide attempt and involving the in ways I shouldnt have and I'm not getting the responses I expected. Everyone seems angry and dissmissive now.
Talking about this stuff is just making it worse I feel...