Patagonia, I may have asked this before so forgive a repeat. Have you been keeping track of yourself gynocologically, having your estrogen levels tested? Also, if you are on birth control medication, that can cause mood swings and an inbalance with hormonal levels, and lead to bouts of depression as well.

It's not unusual for someone struggling with PTSD to want to "get away" either. Even to feel like a burden to family too. Yes, it can be hard to stick with a day to day routine of being a wife and a mother. I can understand your desire to escape and find a way to be free of that kind of life, I do not think you are a bad person, instead I think you are a person that is really struggling.

Last I heard you were thinking about going to a kind of retreat, did you get to do that?