Definitely. I thought she had that and could be okay for the sake of the children. The conversation on Saturday, was the first since the break up, and I thought it went well. No deep talks, no relationship talks, etc. it was for the child who was so upset. I did not bring up any relationship or friendship issues. Simply said I understand not being able to be friends now and that was okay and that I was not at all looking to reconcile because she had made that clear and I was in a new relationship. Today it was a different story; incredibly mean to me again and threatening my job.

I have no ill will. For months I was in the depths of despair to where I ended up hospitalized. But I have had time, been put on new meds, excersizing, downing time with friends i neglectedx basically getting my life back together where I don't want to lay in bed all day, every day anymore. For the moment I have pulled myself out and am doing great. Unfortunately it seems as though while I have accomplished this for myself and gotten to the point where I don't want to spend out the rest of my days in solitude she has taken a turn. Or maybe she hasn't. Maybe she said she wanted to be amicable two days ago Jem changed her mind. Maybe she doesn't like that im happy again. Maybe she doesn't like that I am seeing someone new. I have no idea and I can't figure it out and I refuse to spend all day in bed trying to. But I don't feel like I should be punished all over again and threatened to lose my job when she was the one who said we should say hello at work because it was too awkward for her. I have to protect me, too. I have to not let this pull me down into a horrible, dark place. While I care tremendously I can't go that route again while I'm FINALLY starting to feel good. Even thoughts makes me feel selfish and I should try to help, I know I can't because she is now resorting to trying to ruin my career after she was the one who said we should talk.

Please tell me I am not being a complete selfosh a$$hole with this. I really hope not.