The job of a wife is to be polite to the in-laws, and not get between them and the husband. Wife has no obligation to like or love them, just be courteous. Certainly, if husband confides to the wife a disappointing or hurtful exchange that he has had with his parents, he does not expect that she will go betraying the confidence by giving the parents feedback on what she thinks of their input, whether through third parties or otherwise. That's wrong on a number of levels. She can tell him what she thinks of what he relates to her.

The best thing you can do, Seeya, is to help your husband be a little (or a lot) less dependent emotionally on his parents . . . and be more dependent on you. That's, of course, conditioned on you sticking around. (You may need to give that some thought.) He's already expecting that you may bail, like his mom did. (or however it happened. IDK. But she did bail on the kids.) He doesn't expect marriage to be permanent because that's what he experienced growing up. Maybe that's why he got talking about having a kid . . . thinking it would tie you closer to him. His relationship with his folks is what got him to be the way he is, so he needs less of that. Kids can turn out pretty amazingly well with even just one good relationship to one parent. So there was probably something amiss from both of his folks, and all the videos on the Net aren't going to fix that. If you see a video that he might be inspired by, show him . . . but never mind coaching his folks on how they can improve, unless they right out ask for your advice, and not even then. (I, personally, thought the video made a lot of assertions that it didn't really prove. It was long on emotion, short on teaching. Quite frankly, I can think of worse things to say to a boy, like: "You're a jerk.") Your husband does need to "man-up" on some fronts, and there will be times when you will have to tell him just that. Like, "No, you can't throw your wife out of the house. That's not what men do. And, no, you can't have all the family assets in your name. That's not what men do."

Let me give you another heads up. Never judge conversations that you, yourself, did not personally hear. Give your husband supportive feedback, if he relates someone saying something unsupportive toward him . . . but don't assume that the conversation went exactly like he's telling it. Just like how everyone is mean to him at work. I'm not saying he lies, but - like all of us - he hears through a filter . . . and fits it into a narrative that justifies him. We all do it. And he has a penchant for throwing pity-parties for himself. When he tells you that his folks were unsupportive, then say, "Well, Honey, maybe they're not the best ones to confide these things in. Of course, you need and deserve support and that's why you have me. That's what a wife is for, besides the cooking and the sock folding." (kidding) He's actually resisting bonding fully with you. Sounds like he's still more bonded to dad. That's why I say he needs less time alone with dad.

Maybe you and he could have Dad over for dinner. Of have Mom and her second husband over for dinner. His relationship with his parents should be more of a social thing now and less of an intimate thing that is proper to small child and folks. She wasn't a great mom then and she's not going to be now. He needs help accepting that. Marriage is where adults satisfy their yearning for closeness and acceptance. Parents picking you up when you hit bottom is more something that folks do for kids. Adult husbands and wives pick each other up. Maybe the folks are good for a loan in an emergency, and there ought to not be too many of those. Even if his parents could give him now what they didn't give him way back when, it's not going to fix the wounds from way back when. You can't fix the past. His job is to grow now, hopefully, through a good marriage to a good wife. That's where he is now. His relationship with you is what is really important.

Maybe they'll delete this. I'm not pushing religion. This is one of the wisest sayings ever, and that's why it's been around for thousands of years:

"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." His childhood was what it was, and now it's over. Now he's yours.