I have something kinda like that. Sometimes the child me is a boy and sometimes the child me is a girl, but in either case, I am getting a whipping from somebody else's mom. This started when I was still a child. Whenever I would spend the night with a friend from school I would fantasize about getting a whippin' from their mom, or her putting diapers on me. Don't beat yourself up or over analyze, just accept it, and enjoy the great orgasms it brings you.