I don't think the PTSD really affects me that much, though.. I'm only triggered when I go to France apparently, which doesn't happen all that often.. so in my day to day life I don't get bothered by it at all.

I haven't been on medicine/in therapy long.. only since the end of this past March, but.. I just fail to see how any of it helps me. Therapy just seems pointless, because again I'm just really lonely and I hate myself. The therapist tells me to go out and make an effort to meet people but if it was that simple for me, I would do that.. She'll tell me I'm beautiful and intelligent.. and anyone can tell me all of that really, and I'll never believe it and it will never change my opinion of myself. I just assume they are being nice. I'm home from school for the summer, and I don't like my therapist here, but it's very short term. I like the one I have at school, but it's more of like a relief for dealing with my school issues (absences, etc) than dealing with the loneliness and self hatred. And I like the help with the former, but it's not providing me with long term help.

I've researched CBT and I think I might benefit, but still that wouldn't solve the two main problems I have.. I don't know how I can solve those.