I admit, the start of my disenchantment of god started young as I remembered begging god to stop my abuse. Five years with no help, I figured god most be a lie. When we finally moved away from my abuser, I was severely teased in school. Beaten up, things stolen from me, and textbooks taken from me. I tried calling god again. Nothing. I left school and got my GED. I started noticing the world around me and noticing how evil things happen all the time with no intervention from god. The religious people would tell me, "God works in mysterious ways!" and expect me to just take that awful world view? As I got older, I read the Bible for the first time. Before this time, I was just told want the Bible says. I read the Bible front to back and when I got to "Amen", I decided I was a agnostic atheist. I thought the Bible was the most evil book I ever read. There was things people told me that was in the bible that was not AT ALL! According to the Bible, the only crime committed by my abuser is fornication and I'm guilty with him.

If you were looking for help in believing in god again, I certainly won't help you. I do share your feelings but I became at peace with it when I realized that god (or god as we know it) appears to not exist.