I believe I'lI be going in today. I'm a little nervous and don't know what to expect. Do I pack my own clothes? Last time was 6years ago and it was involuntary. I arrived naked in a blanket...

Last night was rough. I feel better today but know it's a matter of time. I really hope they can get me on some new meds for anxiety and depression. Maybe I can finally sleep. Anyone with kids knows what I mean... Lol.

My kids are so important to me. I'm the type of mom that tucks her children in everynight and rubs their back. I like to make cookies and color. But when I have to raise a voice it sends me in a downward spiral. I feel like I'm screaming and becoming my mother. Ever little thing I do, I question to see if I'm like her. When my kids cry, I feel like I'm destroying them.

In a normal state I know this isn't the case, but when I'm this depressed, I just see myself as a little girl, crying in fear for help. I kinda reflect that into my kids even though that is not the case. Every cry does not mean I'm hurting my kids The way I was hurt. But it's hard to see past it when I'm mentally struggling.