Last weeks 1 1/2 hr,monthly session made me uneasy.I always speculate about certain things T says to me during session but Im a little paranoid about this one.
Ive been seeing T for over a year now ......in the past things Ive held stuff back from him,but that stopped 2 sessions ago.I tell him everything.I tell him that too.

I was not in good shape last session,extremely depressed and hopeless.There were also a number of events over the course of the last month that were stressful and very triggering to me.

The session felt some what of a gentle inquisition.Like he asked things like exactly HOW many pills did you take WHERE did you cut.
None of this is new yet he wanted to know Details.When I mentioned going away for a getaway by myself he seemed uncomfortable about me being alone and asked what I wanted to accomplish.
I told him I had NO intentions of killing myself.

Anyways,Ive been waiting to see a pdoc to get my meds straightened around.This will be the very first apt with pdoc.
T asked me to sign a release so pdoc has access.Then he says that I should tell pdoc about self harm,suic thoughts,depression....the gamete.
This bothers me because Im worried he might be playing devils advocate here.
Mabye Im a paranoid babbling idiot .
I just hope hes not playing good cop.Gosh Ive got issues,I wonder if trust and disclosure isnt part of this fear.