I feel, like I have just lost interest in pretty much everything and nobody else with authority even f*cking cares about me, in real life. I will never be anything, so I see no point in lying or trying to be brave here, and reinvent myself. Other people just screw me over, because let's be honest - they can!

It is the cold hard truth. I am a doormat. I am a social train wreck and there is really no point in denying that things will even somehow improve. Even my mate Scott, well, he totally agrees that we have tried and achieved absolutely squat. All support workers even do is just humor us because they are receiving a wage packet to do so, but then they just skip on back to their excellent personal lives, leaving us losers to just deal with the sad fact our lives suck. Take that pay check of theirs out of the equation or act all normal and friendly with them against the BOUNDARIES, and then it ends up being good-f*cking-bye regardless of the pain it brings forth. In my case, I ended up in prison.

In case you do not know, I had court for the last time on Friday. It was a bull shite, depressing and awful day. The judge slapped me with a 5 years non harassment order and since they use flat 1 at the accommodation to work in, I got the boot out of my flat. Although Cathy the boss tricked me to give up the lease there anyway. It is just a crap situation all around. This could have been avoided.

I was a fool for thinking I could get with people like that Sara or Joanna. They think I wanted to cause them harm. It is all shite and lies. They just felt "uncomfortable" and blanked my skinny arse, BECAUSE IT WAS JUST A CONTRACT TO THEM!

I feel the lowest I have ever felt. If they had just f*cking shut up, listened to my explanations PROPERLY and gave me a fair go instead of having their seniors lie to me amid all this 'I felt uncomfortable because of Peter' horse poop, and cut out all the bullying, games and betraying they did in-between (well, that was more so from Sara) and just well, gave me a damn chance, I would NEVER have sent them emails talking about porn films, or whatever. Because I felt no-one was listening, it fired me up.

And it is set in stone now, so I doubt an advocate would be able to help me. Now I have to go through the hassle of finding a letting agency that accepts benefits. Oh, God. Life really is so f*cking shite and pointless now. When you cannot even trust them, who the Diddly Sam hell CAN you trust?

Please try not to quote the whole post if you respond!