I'm totally late to this thread but I wanted to contribute.

My therapist said to me last year that she hoped that I find people in my life to give me the caring and listening that I need.

I instantly tensed up and tried to bat away what she was saying. "That's not, that's not, no, that's not my lot in life, I accept that, where would I even find that? No, no, that's not what I get to have and that's ok."

"For now, I see myself as playing that role," the therapist said.

I felt ashamed for even wanting that but I was gratified that she said that, even if I couldn't admit so out loud.

FavoriteJean's post about toddlers reminds me of my own kids and it helps me to understand how normal it is to want caring.

In the past year, I've found more people in my life who care about me and I've been able to take it in. I have amazing friends and they are my "second chance family." One friend can't be a mother, but several close friends and a life partner soul mate can add up to a full and meaningful life of connections.

Two weeks ago, an older woman who has come into my life recently called me, "sweetie." I melted. I can't imagine someone calling me such a kind name! And others take this for granted from their parents?

I already feel better about myself. I am a sweetie, or at least, I can be to some people at some times.

First I had to admit that I have needs. (I hate that word, makes me cringe!) And then I had to learn to feel deserving enough to take it in.

What a journey this therapy is. What a journey it is to grow up! ...Always harder when we have to grow ourselves up.