There is no doubt dysfunctional upbringing effects how people do things, how they conduct their lives and their relationships. I know it effected my choices having dysfunctional father. But really it is not something for my partner to address with my dad. It is something for you to explore in therapy and with your partner or with your own parents.

It Is important for op to understand how her husbands upbringing influenced him but it is not up to her to bring it up with her in laws. Plus every story has two or more sides. Even when my brother and I discuss our childhood we don't always perceive or recall what happened exactly the same. Just because her husband says things it doesn't mean op must run to her in laws or send them links. Some of it could be his perception or even worse: an excuse. She wasn't there.

Sending parenting links is a bit passive aggressive though especially asking third party to do it. Also parenting is cultural thing. In absence of abuse and obvious neglect it is something one needs to sensitive about and not pass judgements.

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