Quote:
Originally Posted by lolagrace
I think it isn't so much about removing your wants, but accepting that they may have to be fulfilled in different ways. Hypothetically, I may have wanted my father to have greater pride in my achievements, but I may also have to accept that I can't get that from him. However, I can have pride in myself. I can accept praise from others who recognize my achievements. I can involve myself in activities and relationships that will put me in the position to get that recognition. Or . . . I can stay stuck trying to get what is impossible to get from a history that isn't going to change.
Acceptance of what we can't have is a tough thing to achieve, and I think we fight it because of how unfair life was to us then. If we accept it, then it feels like we are forgetting it or condoning it, but really it is about finally letting go of what we can't change and deciding to work on what we really have any power to effect. Tall order to get there though. It took me years and years.
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I'm sorry, but you seem to respond to something I never said. I don't disagree with any of this as long as it applies to you, but it doesn't apply to what I was talking about, which was a response to your statement
"[...] you can impact your present and your future. You can make choices about what you do, who you interact with, how you respond to life, tailored very much toward getting exactly what you need and deserve NOW."
Nothing to do with unfairness, then or now. I am talking about things I can't have that have nothing to do with my past, and how I have to get rid of the useless wants. I'd better not respond to the rest of your reply, since it really wasn't directed at me.
I do agree with the bit about accepting one's past. Since I had an abuse free childhood, I have it easier than many other people in that way.