Hi eden, I understand it must feel really hard for you and seem neverending, like there's nothing that can help much anyway right now.........
But you are doing great in starting to open up about what's going on for you and reaching out for support, please don't stop doing that. Sometimes when things are so hard for you it can take time to find support that's actually meaningful to you. But stick with it, hey?? You are worth it.

Alison