I came across this link about what a child feels when the mother abandons them.

Mother Abandonment & the Effects on the Child | LIVESTRONG.COM

Seeyalater, you can do some more research on the signs a partner is having abandonment issues. I would say that what you have shared here are red flags that your husband does have abandonment issues, and he doesn't understand it himself, but is struggling with his low self esteem, sharing his feelings, and pushed you away before "you" could possibly abandon him.

These challenges "can" show up later than most people think. And this is something your husband really does need help with. Perhaps you can now do some research, find some good articles that he can read, and encourage him to get help so the both of you can work on having a healthy relationship together.

Seeyalater, here is another good link I found too. The symptoms are very much as you have discribed in your husband too.

https://blog.udemy.com/emotional-abandonment/
((Hugs))
OE