I can't do it. I can't keep fighting uphill in the mythic belief that pitiful little me will find a loving relationship and losing my virginity. I am a screwup. I should have had sex when I was in college, I wouldn't be seen as a f*****. I have earned my loneliness though, I'm too much of a wimp. I need to put myself out of my misery forever & let the world kick me while I'm rotting six feet under.