Quote:
Originally Posted by Partless
lolagrace, just wanted to say that you and your husband have been through so much, it seems to me, and I think you're a very strong person. What most impresses me is your gratefulness, to people who helped you, to therapy that helped your family, to be able to be appreciative while it's so easy to be full of anger that overshadows all else.
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I appreciate that. I am a strong person, much stronger than I ever gave myself credit for until these last few years. People around me could always see it, but I couldn't feel it and internalize that strength until relatively recently. In my head and heart I was irrepairably broken and doomed, but my life had other plans for me.
My son and I were talking in the car earlier today, and we were reflecting on the last few years. A few years back he went through a terrible time and came dangerously close to losing his life. He said, "That Matt of a few years ago doesn't even seem real to me anymore. To think that I almost didn't let myself find out that I AM capable, I CAN be happy, I CAN succeed. I almost took my chance away." Pretty profound words from the mouth of a 20-year-old. He realizes he survived to discover things about himself that he never saw in himself before.
I guess my message is that this journey IS difficult, it IS wrought with pain and challenge and fear, yet is it also survivable. It IS very possible to get through to the other side. It took me . . . us . . . a LONG time to get to this point. And our lives are far from perfect now . . . very far. But we've learned we can persevere through whatever life throws at us; I can't imagine too much worse, too much more, could happen to us at this point that would actually be all that surprising. That doesn't mean it won't hurt like hell, that we won't struggle and cry and feel overwhelmed, but we also know we've always made it through to the other side and found great rewards awaiting us, usually completely unanticipated.