Thank you for expressing so well what I used to go through. For several years I had that fear, and it was driving me crazy. But I have lived with BP for five years now (at least that was when I was diagnosed), and slowly I have gotten that fear under control. I know that it is not going to kill me, and I know that it is help out there if things get really bad. I guess it is about getting to know how to cope with my BP. But I recognize myself completely in what you wrote. It used to be like that...